I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
