As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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