if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
