Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
