Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
