Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
