oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
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