You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
