hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
