A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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