i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Randomize
