6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
