One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
