What a fucking waste of an outfit
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
