I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
i just google imaged poop.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
