I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
