Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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