were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
