??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
