Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I enjoy the company of your penis
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
