Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
