yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
So many bounce houses so little time
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
