i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
