So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
