so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
babies were throwing up all over the place
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
