so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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