are you still at the devil's house?
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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