i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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