Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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