I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Randomize
