I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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