Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
