Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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