Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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