I cockslap morals
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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