Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
she smelled like a LAN party
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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