woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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