well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
