i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
