I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I need water and some morals
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
