Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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