It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
farters have to be the big spoon...
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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