You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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