we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
