I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
