I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
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