I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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