note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
