i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
