I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
