Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
